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minsan naisip mo na ba na sa sobrang dami na ng tao dito sa mundo eh parang excess ka na lang.?

bawat segundo 4 sanggol ang pinapangak sa mundong ito., at 247 bawat minuto.. kaya habang nagtatype ako dito ay ilang dosenang sanggol na ang ipinanganganak.. and as of september 25, 2008 ay mayroong 6,725,800,000 na tao dito sa mundo.. that's the whole population of the world.. and there are now 90,457,200 Filipinos..

lahat ng 6billion+ na yan eh nagco-contribute sa destruction ng hindi lang ng environment kundi maging mundo natin., excluding na syempre ung mga baby.. pero lalaki rin sila at mas lalaki pa ang populasyon at masdadami na naman ang mga polluters.. so why need na dumagdag ka pa.?

pano kung hindi ka naman matalino., walang talent at ipagpalagay na natin na you're good for nothing.? eh di parang pabigat ka lang sa mundong ito.. so what's the point of your existence pa di ba.?

sa sobrang dami na rin ng tao dito sa mundo., eh yung mga kaya mong gawin ay kaya ring gawin ng iba.. kung kaya na nila., bat kailangan ka pa.?

sa sobrang dami na ng tao dito sa mundo eh bakit kailangan mo pa ang mag-exist.? hindi kaya pabigat ka lang sa mundong ito na ating ginagalawan.? bakit kailangan mo ang mag survive.? bakit kailangan ka pa dito.?

diary entry 2

waaaahhhhh.! ang complicated ng buhay., di ko maintindihan.. Masaya ako., pero malungkot naman.. sino ba naman si danielle para sau d ba.?
i cared for you., itinuring kitang kaibigan., para na rin kitang kapatid.. tapos., malaman ko na lang ganun ka pla., haiztz.. sinabi mo na lang sana sa akin agad., para naman hindi nagmukhang tanga na nakikipag usap sau., un pala u have something against me..
palagi na lang kaung ganyan sa akin..

a love story.,

There was a girl who was very confused whom to love., was it the one she loves.,Crow or the one that loves her., Cloud.. Crow likes her too., but does not make any moves.. She decided to forget about Crow., why does she need a man who doesn't know how to fight for his love? what if their relationship faces a problem., then what will Crow do? He might just give up their relationship..

She tried to love Cloud., she tried Cloud.. Cloud love her very much.. Their relationship lasted for months and years.. She thought she will be happy with Cloud., she thought she is deeply inlove with Cloud.. Then one day., she saw Crow with another girl and they are so sweet.. She was deeply hurt.. But she tried to forget about it., she shouldn't leave Cloud.. The following days she was so depressed., she still love Crow and will never forget about him.. Cloud asked her why is she so sad., she didn't answer him truthfully., she said that she was sad because her pet died.. Cloud., knew she was lying., Cloud knew the truth., that she doesn't love him eversince..

She saw Crow again with the same girl., they were holding hands while walking.. She felt like she was stabbed with a knife for several times.. The worse part is that Crow saw her and smiled., he smiled like he was saying that 'hey., you thought i wouldn't forget you.?' he introduced the girl which is already his fiance and they will be soon married.. He invited her in their wedding and said she will be the Maid of Honor and Cloud will be the Best Man.. She said yes., and said that maybe within the next few months she and Cloud will also get married.. Crow looks happy now., she said to herself. She turned to the girl and said., 'you are lucky., congratulations'.. Then they said goodbye and parted ways., as she turned away she cried her eyes out.. This was the worst day of her life.. Seeing her love with another girl and soon will be married.!

She came home.. She decided to forget about Crow., and she will truly love Cloud now.. She knew that Cloud is there at her house., he will greet her with his sweet smile.. She knew that Cloud will be there for her., and will never leave her.. She knew that Cloud will comfort her.. He will still love her no matter what.. But Cloud is not at her house.. She called his cellphone., but he's not answering.. She decided to go to his apartment.. She knocked on the door., but nobody seems to be inside.. The door is open., so she went inside.. It was very dark.. She knew the apartment very well., so even without the lights on., she knew where to find the switch.. She turned on the lights.. His apartment was small., and was suited for one person only but it was neat and tidy.. His stuffs are always in order.. She went into his room.. His door was locked.. But she has a spare key so she opened it.. She was shocked about what she saw.. She regretted entering that cursed room.. She was now at her feet crying.. In the corner., Cloud was lying in the floor lifeless.. He was holding a .22 caliber gun., he ran a bullet through his head.. Blood was all over his body.. She was so shocked.. She hugged the cold body of her patient boyfriend who loved her till the end.. She felt sorry using him., she should have loved him instead..

Moments later., the police arrived.. They decided it was a suicide.. No force entry.. No missing appliance or valuable.. He doesn't have any enemies.. And they found a suicide note.. They handed her the note., for they thought that it was for her.. She was at her feet again.. She remembered those times she was with him., she was happy., even if it was just a little bit.. He never left her.. He was always there when she needs him.. He hugged her when she was afraid.. He took care of her when she was sick.. He took her to fancy restaurants to eat dinner.. He gave her a bouquet of flowers everyday.. He never hit her.. He goes with the flow of her mood swings.. He brought her once to Tokyo Disneyland., and last summer to Palawan.. He gives her chocolates every time he visits her.. He was very understanding and thoughtful..

You will be free now to love Crow.,
I know that you never loved me.,
And the one that you love is Crow..
I did this for I love you very much..
I know that I can't bear the pain if i saw you with him.,
and it will be like my death if I see you together..
That's why i decided
to end it all like this..
One time suffering..
You are more important than my life..
I love you very much..
Please be happy..

P.S.
See how much I love you.?

madrama 1

do u hate me.? pls., just say so.. kasi nahihirapan na ako eh.. hindi ko alam kung ako ba ung kinaiinisan mo/nyo.. it's fine with me naman eh kung ayaw mo/nyo sa akin., i do understand that all of us are distinct from each other.. that we have different likes and dislikes.. like the things that pisses me off might be the things that you love so much..
ayan., nalulungkot na naman ako.. feeling ko kasi naiinis ka/kau sa akin.. sana sabihin nyo naman sa akin.. para naman hindi ako magmukhang tanga na nakikipag-usap sa inyo at lahat yun pala you hate my presence..
sabihin nyo kung ano ung problema., kung ayaw nyo sa akin., at kung ano ung ayaw nyo sa akin..

i lost my ♥

i lost my heart., along with it were my emotions.. i don't know when., how., and why.. but it has been a long time since i last felt my heart.. i don't know where did i left it., i don't know what happened to it., i don't know.. it just disappeared.. i don't knew if it's really my heart that is missing or was it only my emotions.

smiles.cries.laughs

Some people tend to hide their emotions.. they laugh even though they really don't mean to., they smile even though they are raging in anger.. they cry., but deep inside., you can say that those are just crocodile tears..or do you wear a poker face.? i myself., is also a pretender.
I'm not phony., it's just that., i don't want somebody to see me cry. Now., I learned that you must show your true emotions., your true feelings., the true you.. For it will be lonelier if people around you., doesn't know how you really feel.. And you can't obstruct people from thinking of negative things.. They might think that you are a deceiver., they might not believe your emotions even though what you showed were true..
So., smile when you are delighted., laugh when you are cheery., cry when you are depressed.. Don't be afraid to show your true emotions., be you., be true.!

painful reality

i lived the emo life and left it

Emo ako dati.. pramis.. i always cry at night. Im always crying but i dont really know exactly why. It's just that there are so many things that I can't understand. I just cry. I still remember., that im so confused.. im so confused about life., confused about everything. I seems like i don't know who I am., i feel like everyone hates me., that all the things that i did were wrong.. i think that no one loves., understands and cares for me.. Nagpakaloko-loko ako., kala ko kasi sasaya ako., pero hindi. Umiyak pa rin ako ng umiyak. It's not only once that i thought of ending my life., but good thing., i remembered that it won't solve any problem and will just make things worse(mahal na kasi ang mamatay ngaun). My parents are not here., they are working in UAE., which made me more lonely., lonely until now. During those "emo" times i didn't do well in school., i made a lot of mistake., and i hated myself. Because i was so emo at that time., i made that(the pic overthere). I was also inspired by a qoute that i found here in the net and made my own..

Nobody loves me
Nobody likes me
Nobody knows me
Nobody understands me
Nobody's here for me
Nobody knows how i feel
Nobody cares
Nobody wants me
Nobody misses me
WILL YOU BE NOBODY?

I think it's really a part of being a teenager.. bcoz now., some of my friends are experiencing it. I want to help them., help them overcome that sadness., that feeling of being unwanted., and the feeling of being alone.

Also during that time., i was blinded by my sadness and forgot about many important things. I forgot that im not alone. Let's say that i don't have friends., but God is here. He is always willing to help., just rely to Him. It is in the Bible that God knows us better than we do., He too understands us. Believe in Him and pray., say to Him all your anxieties., and He will help. God is always willing to help those that are in need. One thing more., your friends and family are there., they won't leave you. We are here for you. Tell me., i'll do my best to help you. You can also talk about these things to your 'rents or someone who's older.If you cant., your friends are there. Tell them., share with them all of your happiness and sadness. That's what friends are for., right.Open up your heart to someone whom you know will be willing to listen., to help and will understand you.
You also have to trust people and believe in yourself. Dont belittle yourself., dont hate the whole world. Just smile., face each challenge or trials in your smile with a smile in your face. Believe that you can pass it all. Dont be pessimist., be optimistic. And my favorite quote says: Stand up for what you believe in., even if it means standing alone. If you think you are right., then go., it's fine as long as it doesn't hurt others. Enjoy life. Those failures are part of growing up. Those even shapes us to a better person., and we will be able to learn and understand things better. Be strong too., you know i face all of these alone but with the help of God.

P.S.
hindi ako nagdamit na parang emo..wala..basta..umiiyak lang ako..hehehe..i also read articles that concerns teens., how to cope up with the problems that teens bear.. a book published by Jehovah's Witnesses entitled "Young People Ask., Answers that work" contains., the frequently asked questions and problems of teens..and it helped me a lot too.!

the world is constantly changing

the world is constantly changing., along with it is me.. i kept changing..im really very twisted., just like what i said earlier on my previous post that i've been taking quizzes in blogthings.com..i took those quizzes that i have already taken before., and guess what., the results were totally different from the first time that i took those tests.. as long as i could remember., i think that i took those tests last december or january., think so.. im afraid that maybe i completely lost my true self..

probably no one would really understand me.,

truth

ano nga ba talaga ang tama.? sino nga ba talaga ang tama.? kasi kung minsan ung akala mong tama eh mali naman sa iba..at ang tama nila ay mali sau..ang gulo ng buhay ano..tulad ko..palagi na lang mali sa iba ang ginagawa ko..wala na akong nagawang tama sa paningin nila..ako palagi ang mali., ang may kasalanan kahit na sila naman talaga.. di ko tuloy maintindihan..